I talked to my new bishop today! In the past speaking up about SGA/SSA with my bishops they were understanding and very sincere and insightful to letting me know that I was going to be fine, well last Sunday my bishop approached me and suggested that I make an appointment with his secretary for the next Sunday (today) so I did as he asked, wonder what was the motive why he wanted to visit with me, it then dawned on my New semester new calling. He brought me in his office sat me down and started the meeting….
Now I truly understand the calling and mantle of a Bishop, but I was in the ward 10 weeks and every week he would come up to me and ask me “What is your name?”, or “Are you new?”and I would be polite and answer his questions but for my first semester I didn’t really do anything with my ward due to not knowing anyone and wasn’t that impressed with those of my ward at the time, Cliquish and not that friendly, so I never really wanted to do that many activities with them, but this semester has been different, I made a resolution that I would be more active in my ward and getting to know others, thus far I have been successful in meeting people, Today’s Fast and Testimony meeting was Awesome I felt the Spirit immensely and I just felt loved by people, putting myself out there in a new aspect of wanting to be grounded in a great ward that I can grow and help others grow is what I needed. As I sat in the chair across from my bishop he started asking questions about me and I finally told him my struggle, I felt like many that weight was lifted until he went blank, like I was talking to a brick wall, he kept looking at his watch, and it seemed that I was cutting into another’s appointment, he then asked me “well do you feel worthy enough for a calling?” I was stunned! I just let my bishop know about one of the hardest things I am dealing with and he was mainly concerned about his schedule, I understand that he might have no knowledge of how to help but not even a sympathy I’m sorry, I sat there crying telling him a dark secret that I haven’t had to tell or bring up in a while, and explain that I have been through the repentance process and have seen the atonement actively working in my life, but I do struggle till this day, with the attraction, and in a way I then felt that whatever I can deal with this on my own, and wish I hadn’t of said anything to him, he then said it was good talking to me and we will sustain you next week, and then excused me. I don’t really know what to do. I respect the calling of a bishop that he was called for a reason, but he was not called to help me; there are others that are in need of him and will get the help but what am I to do? I’ve been through 5 different counselors and one has been effective, but just not that convinced that if I am paying or having the church pay it should work, right? I mainly was just looking for a caring and understanding bishop that could give council and comfort to a struggling member. What am I to do?
I'm sorry that your bishop was not more sensitive to your true needs. If you feel that you need a priesthood leader with whom you can confide and he is not getting the job done, try meeting with your stake president. They are generally more experienced and have a broader perspective.
ReplyDeleteOr else make another appointment with your bishop and make sure he knows in advance that you want at least an hour or two of no interruptions whatsoever, then reiterate what you told him before, plus your reactions to being politely shut down.
ReplyDeleteBe charitable. A bishop's job is difficult and thankless. He has his own trials and struggles. You may find that he's simply not equipped to help you in the ways you're looking for. Bishops come from all walks of life and backgrounds; some are wonderful and some end up being real trials for their wards.
Personally I've never felt the need to talk to any bishop about this issue. I've never crossed any lines because of it that would require such disclosure, so I figure it's my business, not his. But that's just me.
If you think this bishop really could help you, then try it again. If not, maybe the SP (as Bravone said). If not, then you may just have to look elsewhere. In my experience, bishops and SPs who are actually knowledgeable about this topic and ready & willing to help tend to be the minority in the Church. Good luck.