Reading my Scriptures and many great books, have got my mind thinking about where I can personally improve, tonight while reading In Quiet Desperation, I came across exactly what needed to learn and work on.
I have this great desire to learn and help those that struggle as I do, but just am not sure I am even helping myself, reading the comments that some have left have opened my own eyes that I kind of am a neat freak, and perfectionist, frankly I was brought back by some of the comments, however it helped me realize that I can't always reach that level of stature until I understand what it is that I struggle with, my vices, my fears, my wants, and my desires.
Anyways, my reading tonight has in a way lightened my burden; Ty Mansfield placed this example in his portion of this book stating and I quote
"...Once Neal A. Maxwell was pondering his Leukemia, “the soul voice of the Spirit came into his mind to whisper, ‘I have given you leukemia that you might teach my people with authenticity.’” How could we teach the principle of faith if our own faith was never tried and exercised? How could we teach someone about the importance and power of resisting temptation if we have always given in? How could we teach the blessing of the law of tithing or the law of chastity with power of the Spirit if we are not currently living them? In the words of Paul,
“Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? Thou that preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal?” (Romans 2:21)..." (1)
Never in my short amount of time of being a member, had I ever seeing Elder Neal A. Maxwell complained due to his sickness, when he stood to address the body of the Church, and Due to the radiation him losing his hair, and having the blotchy skin, He stood to address those that loved him, and felt for him. I will always remember the strength of Elder Neal A. Maxwell, and he taught that in which he had been through because he mastered it. He taught that in which he mastered and wanted others to not despair due to ailments. To live and learn from them. I may never understand that of which I give into, however I do know that the Lord loves me, he wants me to learn to help those that suffer from what seems at times difficult to handle, and at time what seems that it would just be easier if I give in, believe me I know. It isn’t. It isn’t the guilt that follows, the emotional breakdown, and just wanting to lock yourself in a room and sleep it away, again however it is still there, I choose now to focus that on the Saviors face just as Peter as he began to walk on the water, but of course things will happen and I will fall, but I am tired of beating myself up, it is now the time to build me and others so that we may make a way to help others help the next generation! It is now my prayer that you and I grant a path for others, it is now our time to shine and lift that one up to where we can embrace the Savior when he comes, to lose that natural man and be a modern day Elder Neal A. Maxwell.
We can do hard things the Lord Loves us and will always have his hand stretched out to us, we must take him and embrace him. It will be tough but I would rather have that struggle to help others find peace in this beautiful thing we call growth. It is my prayer that we find that peace in which we long for. Though I may find it and wonder as those that found the tree mentioned in the Vision of the tree of life. (1 Nephi: 8) and then seem to turn away, however I want those eyes that can see that this is not that pre-destined path that was set, and make my way back. I am grateful to a loving God for he has shown me that I have to feel remorse for my sins, but not the need to beat myself up and be depressed that time is passed, It is my time to love me for me and create the life that my Father wants me to have. Will you join me and standing up for what we believe? I hope that I won’t be alone this journey but be as the Army of Helaman and be numbered among the many multitudes.
I testify Jesus is the Christ; He lives! He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is my maker, and yet he is the Best teacher, Mentor, and example I couldn’t ask for a better way to learn. He wants us to return and live with him forever. I will strive for that. He is my guide, my path, and my friend. Remember him always.
(1). In quiet desperation pg 130.
Wow! thank you so much for the powerful message you shared. It was seriously something I needed to hear. This week I almost gave up. But I know as well that there is something we can learn from all of this. And that we aren't alone as much as we think we are. I appreciate everyword you share, it really uplifts me.
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