I have these good days where I have abstained from all ungodliness, and was given the willpower to make it one day, and follow the council from a true friend, or Leader, and then I have these days when I completely break down and sob for 3 hours, and wonder if I will ever control myself from doing anything that will cause guilt or unhappiness. those days seem to me to be far more than the good, for example yesterday was a mix between the two, yet I abstained from doing anything immoral but struggled to think anyone was actually listening to me, wondering am I to do this completely alone, in a city full of Latter-day Saints and not one know that I am truly suffering inside. calling on a friend to see what his input was and then lying in bed early about 3:00 sobbing hoping that help comes today, Know that a just Father would hear me in the very moment that I needed him, this friend in response to my inquiry the very thing that I needed to hear, and chatting with him again tonight just wanting him to have the best thing that life has to offer, and in return hope that tomorrow will be a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. My question is what are something’s I can do to lessen the frequent days of what seems to be Jekyll and Hyde? Happy and go lucky then completely loosing all hope and following the Council not only that I once taught on my mission, and what I truly know to be true. Thoughts?
Maintaining balance is the test of a lifetime for all of us. It is what I am really struggling with right now. You can read about it on my blog and see some of the thoughts others have said about it. You are never alone. Reach out to God and others.
ReplyDeleteI am about to say something that may not initially seem friendly and caring, but I assure you that it is.
ReplyDeleteDude, life is not all sturm und drang. If every day for you is as tightly wound as this post sounds, then you seriously need to lighten up or else you will fracture from the stress. Living according to gospel principles and making right choices shouldn't be that excruciating. Of course we all need to monitor ourselves and our behavior, but it sounds like you are freaking out about not being The Perfect Mormon Boy every second of every day. That's an impossible burden to put on yourself. Don't do it.
I assume you are reaching out to God in your prayers so let me echo Bravone's other piece of advice. Reach out to others. To paraphrase Pres. Hinckley's dad when young Gordon was a discouraged new missionary: Forget yourself and go to work. When I'm discouraged or down or stressed, that always works for me. Forget about myself for a while and go find someone who needs the help I can give. There's always someone somewhere. After I've done that for a while, suddenly it seems that my own burdens are lighter and I have figured out some of my own next steps along the way. And a lot of the stress and worry goes away too. Remember what Mosiah said about serving our fellow men.
Off soapbox.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAlan is kind of right. It would be helpful if we knew a little more about you. It's not the greatest thing in the world to have...but we find ways to deal with it. Talking about it can help. Keeping your life moving is another important thing. Ask questions...we may not have all the answers but we can listen. Email us if its personal. Good luck
ReplyDelete