Friday, May 15, 2009
It's Been a long time,
I have just been so busy with things and really have had no desire to write, I just have had long nights, this is how it all starts... 2 weeks before Christmas a girl has been chatting with me almost every night until 12-1 in the morning, I find it crazy about the whole situation and this is not an easy situation that I am in, she is a beautiful girl, and I like to be around her, but however I think she wants more, but I do not feel the same, she is attending BYU-I and makes random trips to Utah to "visit" her brother and sister-in-law... but mainly spends the weekend with me. we share many things in common, we both have a passion for Photography and music, but however at the moment I don't think I could even consider a "Girlfriend" I just don't want to hurt anyone. I have hung out with the whole family, have dinner with the parents and they like me, but it is just tough what do I do?
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Does she know about you?
ReplyDeleteBe honest with her. You decide how much to tell her--you don't need to come out to her if you don't feel comfortable doing so--but if she's expecting this relationship to go somewhere (and it sounds like she probably is) and you're fairly certain that it's not going anywhere, it's not fair to her to keep stringing her along.
ReplyDeleteI know you don't want to hurt her, but the longer you're "dating" the more convinced she'll become that she has a future with you, and the more it will hurt when the truth comes out.
In my opinion, you should gently let her know that you value her friendship and enjoy spending time with her, but that you can never be more than friends. And then (because nobody likes the "let's just be friends" talk) tell her why you can only be friends--by explaining to her that you're attracted to guys. With a little luck, you'll turn what could be a tearful "breakup" into a friendship-strengthening experience as she learns that you're not dumping her for anything she's done and as she gains another reason to be a caring, supportive friend.
It may not work out that way, and she may by hurt and the friendship may be ruined, but you will have done the right thing.